The New Mom
Everyone always tells you that having a baby is all butterflies and sunshine. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom, but that is NOT what I call motherhood. Some days are beautiful and run as smooth as my baby’s bottom, but then - THEN - comes the other days. The days that I can’t keep my baby from throwing everything in reach on the ground, or the dog tracking mud throughout the whole house that I just mustered up the energy to clean (a couple days ago), or the massive “code browns” that never seem to end… Did I mention the sleep regressions? The never-ending boogers from all the constant germs at daycare? How about the million tiny pieces of laundry that have to be folded? Noone mentioned the arm cramps you get from trying not to move once your precious little baby falls asleep in your arms, or that all of your clothes will have little stains of food and drool on them, or that you will never eat or shower or even go to the bathroom on your own schedule for the foreseeable future. I know this sounds crazy, but it’s not even the half of it. As a new mom, I don’t think I was fully prepared for all of the little things that would change … but I don’t regret one minute of it.
Motherhood helped me grow as a person; it made me a better daughter, wife, and friend. Now that I have the experience of bringing new life into this world, I feel like I have a new meaning and purpose. I am more kind and understanding. I am more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. In turn, I want to help other moms that might be struggling to navigate these new changes that no one told them about. I didn’t realize this would become a passion of mine until recently, when I went for a check-up and my doctor diagnosed me with post-partum depression. We are warned about it, and we never think it will be us…until it is. Being a nurse I have always been able to handle stressful situations, the ebb and flow of emotions from patient to patient and the constant call of selflessness to take care of others before myself. It wasn’t until I was responsible for another life 24/7 that I realized how much work I would be doing day in and day out without any lunch break or vacation time. I thought the constant worrying of my child’s safety was normal for a mother, that a lack of sleep and anxiety to some extent was inevitable but turns out I worry a bit too much. While being empathetic for my patients was a positive attribute, it became something of a demon at home. The worrying never ends. Is my house clean enough? Is my baby meeting all the milestones? What am I going to make for dinner? How do I make time to see all my family and friends without throwing my baby’s schedule completely out of whack? WILL I EVER STOP WORRYING?? Although I have grown as a person, I still have a ton more to go.
Getting these thoughts out into the world is scary and extremely intimidating, but hopefully there are other moms out there that can read this and not feel like they are alone. Finding ways to make motherhood better and more enjoyable - To Live In The Moment - that’s what this is all about. If there is anything worth doing, you have to do it with your whole heart right? Well I’m here for that… stay tuned.
