Breast Is Best, Right?
Listen ladies, I envisioned that all babies just came out of the womb and like a little puppy would know exactly what to do when they were hungry. Maybe it was because I had always worked on post-surgical floors and acute care instead of with pediatrics, but man was I naive. For a little back story, I became a gestational diabetic after I got pregnant which means my blood sugar would spike or drop depending on what and when I was eating just like any other diabetic. Because of this, my baby had grown a bit too large for me to deliver on my own, so I had to schedule a cesarean birth. Needless to say, I was terrified and upset all at the same time because I know all too well the risks involved with surgery, recovery and all that good stuff. Not only that, but my plans to give birth naturally were thrown right out the window. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed, or at least try, but my doctors and nurses were great and gave my baby to me as soon as possible to try to feed. I had NO IDEA what I was doing, at all. A lactation consultant finally came in to help me at night, recommended different positions for me and the baby, which seemed to help. She also recommended pumping while my baby wasn’t trying to feed to help stimulate milk production and produce that “liquid gold” colostrum. They give you a handheld pump after delivery which I later found to be really good at removing blocked ducts down the road, but the hands-free pump I used from Mom-Cozy was great. I was able to tuck it right into my bra and use my hands to change his diaper or hold him so I could kiss his sweet face.
After a few hours turned into a few days, and my nipples were screaming. I was raw, cracked, and feeling guilty that every little suckle from my baby was causing immense pain to the point I just wanted to throw in the towel. I finally got in touch with the lactation consultant from the hospital who recommended various solutions to which I was eternally grateful. After using nipple cream and figuring out how to work a nipple shield, we started to get back on track. But then the biting started. WHY are babies allowed to bite when they are that small? It should be a crime. Anyway, I tried my best to keep up with feeding him but the biting became relentless and again I had the mom-guilt of what to do next. People breastfeed their babies for past a year, and I can’t make it a whole month? My options seemed to be leaning towards formula, but the idea of doing that since I was fortunate enough to be able to produce milk. Instead, I tried exclusively pumping and it worked! It worked so well, I was able to create a freezer stash that lasted until he was almost 11 months old. I know not everyone is as fortunate, but sometimes this blessing was a curse. I was what you would call an over-producer, pumping 16 ounces of breastmilk every 2-3 hours. We quickly realized we needed to invest in a good deep freezer, which saved our sanity and down the road was perfect for storing extra groceries in after the milk was gone. I also had to invest in quality nursing bras because let’s be real, my boobs got more action than Brad Pit at the cinema.
Looking back on not being able to breastfeed, it wasn’t the end of the world. His father was able to help feed him if I needed a break, I was able to calculate how much he was actually drinking to see if it was enough, and my baby couldn’t even tell the difference anyway. So don’t be hard on yourself if things don’t go the way you planned, the road is winding but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
